Harry on Crack
by alpha-mega
Summary: Harry dreams the normal Independant Harry plot, and now he thinks everyone is out to get him, he's the heir of everyone ever famous and fictional and that the head of goblins name is Ragnok


Well, another attempt at a story from me. This isn't really serious at all, just something to tide the boredom of summer.

Summary: Harry dreams the normal independent harry storyline actually happens. It doesn't, of course, but he doesn't know that. So let's start off at the Dursleys.

Harry woke up in a sweat, the dream he had just had fresh in his mind. It had started out innocently enough, he received a letter from Gringotts, telling him he had not responded to their last few bank statements. He had responded, asking what statements they had been talking about. A day after he had sent the letter out, an angry goblin had shown up in his room, Griphook, as his name. There he had told Harry all about Ron, Hermione, Dumbledore and the Weasleys stealing from him. His dream self had, of course, been agitated. After Griphook declared him the heir of the founders, Merlin, Merlin's younger brother King of Atlantis, and the last surviving elf, they had gone to Gringotts, where Harry found out he was a Gajillionaire. He had than read from a book where he found out all the knowledge about magic and science in the world, confronted all his friends, killed the Headmaster and than finally Voldemort. Than he had woken up.

Harry knew he had to do something, after all his dream had been real. Although he knew Gringotts wouldn't send a letter, he knew he had to get there. He planned out a whole escape, with complicated magic he shouldn't have been able to do. When he was finally able to get out of the house, he bumped into one of his guards. He panicked and the cloak fell off him.

"Oh, hey Tonks, how's it going?" Harry asked nervously.

"Nothing.....so where were you going?" Tonks responded.

Harry didn't know why, but he felt the sudden urge to confess everything. He told her about Gringotts, his friends and the super-secret-magical-all-knowing-book-of-magic. Tonks hadn't shown much emotion until he had brought up the super-secret-magical-all-knowing-book-of-magic. Than she had finally altered her expression, showing what he believed to be shock.

"So, Dumbledore plans to kill you, and you can stop it by going to Gringotts and reading the super-secret-magical-all-knowing-book-of-magic?" She asked, a tremor in her voice.

Harry nodded emphatically.

"Than we gotta get you to Gringotts as fast as possible" She exclaimed.

They than called the Knight Bus, where Stan is such a retard, he couldn't recognize Harry Potter. The little Jamaican head from the "pensive" memory of his third year was faced the other way luckily.

* * *

When Tonks and Harry had gotten to Diagon Alley, where Tom couldn't recognize Harry, because he was busy looking at Harry's ass, cause he's a old pedo homosexual. They walked to Gringotts, where Harry started to shiver after he read the little ditty at the entrance.

"What is it, Harry?" Tonks asked.

Harry looked around, than at the Goblin guards. He slowly turned to Tonks and said he had felt the magic of Gringotts. When the Goblins heard this, they looked at Harry like he was retarded. Harry and Tonks walked to the front desk, Harry demanded to see Ragnok. The goblin at the desk gestured toward another goblin, Harry seemed to recognize him.

"Griphook, I remember you from my first year." Harry exclaimed excitedly

Here, the goblin looked very angry

"That little bastard tried to start a mating ritual with my bride" He roared "And you think I'm him"

This caused Harry to recoil back in fear.

"But he seemed like such a nice goblin, through the few words we exchanged" He protested

The goblin just grunted and they continued to walk. They went down many flights of stairs until they were finally in what Harry believed to be Ragnoks Room.

"Now, show me to Ragnok, where he shall command you to take me to the Merlin and Atlantis vaults.

"What, that little mutt couldnt command me to eat a light snack!" exclaimed the Goblin

"But, he's your leader ins't he, he could execute you with a snap of his fingers and Gobling guards" Harry said, aghast

Here the goblin started to laugh merrily. "Heh, Ragnok is the head of Waste Disposal in Gringotts"

Harry was so affronted, he somehow found his way out of the labyrinth that was Gringotts without any further help. He and the forgotten Tonks, who was still with him, walked down the Alley, until he got to the entrance of Knockturn Alley

To be continued........


End file.
